This can help you think about the physical, emotional and social consequences of the different options for your child and family. Consider the potential consequences now and in the future.

What benefits do you want to achieve? What risks do you want to try and avoid?

It is likely that you will have to make some trade-offs to achieve your goal.

For example, your preferred provider might mean longer travel time but you would prefer to travel to a provider with paediatric experience rather than have more time at home and go to the local provider who is less experienced with young babies. That is the trade-off you are willing to make to see your preferred provider.

Sometimes the people making the decision can have very different views about what the best option for the child is. This has the potential to put strains on marriages and cause conflict within families.

Different family members can be on a different page because they don’t have all the information. Often both parents are unable to attend the same appointments and the information from the appointment is relayed by the person who attended. Each parent or carer might have different information needs. So each person involved with making the decision needs access to information that is meaningful to them and helps them become knowledgeable about the decision they are making. This might mean organising a face-to-face appointment with the provider or having written information available in the home language of the family.

Parents report that they sometimes feel pressured by professionals to select their recommended option. An informed choice is aligned to your values and beliefs, and the recommended option might not sit well with your values. It is possible that your values and beliefs are based on inaccuracies and this is hampering your ability to make an informed choice.

For example;

• We tend to adopt beliefs that are comfortable and make us happy.
• We alter our beliefs so that past decisions look good.
• We only use information that agrees with our beliefs.
• We ignore information that challenges our beliefs.

On the other hand, provider’s recommendations could involve their own cognitive biases.

Other family members can also pressure you to choose one option over another. It can be helpful to take crucial family members to appointments. Some brainstorming together can also be helpful to work out what pros and cons are important to each of you.

If you feel uncomfortable about the decision recommended by your provider, it can be useful to seek a second opinion from a professional from the same area of expertise.

Providers and professionals can provide you with additional information. They can clarify the things you don’t properly understand. Tell them you are struggling to make the decision. Providers might recommend that you talk to a parent or adult who has already made the decision. This can certainly be helpful but remember you also need to talk to somebody who decided against the option. Both perspective are necessary if you are to make an informed choice.

It can be helpful to have someone play devil’s advocate when you consider the benefits and risks. Playing devil’s advocate is when we argue against something without necessarily agreeing with the view we are arguing about. This can help us see different perspectives and outcomes that we might not have considered otherwise.