As parents, we often use rewards to help our children reach their goals. But if we want to raise lifelong learners who are self-motivated and emotionally resilient, research suggests there are healthier ways to approach success. For children with hearing loss, focusing on effort and the process is especially important as they navigate their unique challenges.
Talk about effort not success!
Rather than emphasising outcomes, celebrate the process and the effort your child puts in. This approach helps your child feel more in control and builds a growth mindset. Here’s examples of how to shift the focus:
- If your child is competing in sport, keep the conversation on the number of times they have trained, rather than whether they got a particular time or place.
- If your toddler frequently removes their hearing devices, acknowledge when they are wearing them. Focus on what they can now hear – like birds chirping or a sibling’s voice – to create a positive association with their devices.
- If they are doing an
important exam, focus on how much they have progressed during the year to get to this point, rather than a certain grade. - Recognise small communication achievements, such as learning new signs, practicing speech sounds, or successfully using assistive devices, and reinforce how their hard work is paying off.
- Acknowledge when your child communicates their needs, such as asking for help or using sign language in new environments. This will foster independence and self-confidence.
Support your child in the areas they enjoy and are naturally drawn to. For children with hearing loss, it’s crucial to highlight their strengths and interests, as these can help build confidence. Whether it’s chess, sports, maths, sign language, or cooking, these activities develop patience, communication, and critical thinking. Success should be seen as a bonus, not the end goal.
While it’s okay to celebrate milestones with rewards, try not to rely on them as motivation. Instead, teach your child to value the journey and the effort they invest, which will help them develop a positive attitude toward life’s challenges.
Download the Real Life Tips infographic.
More information:
- Should you reward kids for success or is there a better way to talk about achievement | The Conversation – Sarah Jefferson
